Oooohhhh....The 'R' Word!

A lot of vintage buffs cringe when you use the 'R' word. You know the one, the one that makes you want to cry when someone says the words 'chalk paint'. You guessed it, that word is REPURPOSED. It is a very hot topic in vintage circles and causes many a hot debate. Some items turn out beautiful while others, well, you just want to punch that person in the face. I have a few examples:

I found this awesome vintage Art Deco vanity at a thrift store. Made of solid oak with beautiful hand cut dovetails and a very large, round leaded glass mirror. 

       OH THE HUMANITY!!!

WHY??? OH GOD WHY??? Someone decided it would be a 'great idea' to take this beautiful piece of handmade history and glob on 59 coats of white latex paint. To add injury to insult, they stenciled horrendous pink flowers all over it. I won't mention the string of plastic roses that were STAPLED around the gorgeous mirror. I had to rescue it! I have a lot of work ahead of me but I am determined to breathe life back into this beauty and find it a good home. 

I actually like repurposing vintage items if there is no use for them as they are. Giving broken items a makeover and not having them dumped into landfills is a win-win for everyone. I had a few items I got in a lot that didn't really have any use. A silver plated meat fork that had all the plate worn off the back with spots of rust and a silver plated sugar bowl missing the lid with a lot of the silver worn off. These items probably would have ended up in the trash taking up more precious land most of us are trying to save. Lucky for them they ended up in my hands. I turned these unwanted items into wearable pieces of art. 

VINTAGE MEAT FORK BANGLE

I shaped the fork into an oval bangle, added a red carnelian cabochon I took from a broken necklace and created the bezel from reclaimed silver I took from a broken weighted sterling candle holder. 

  MODERNIST VINTAGE SUGAR BOWL CUFF

                      

I cut the bottom of the sugar bowl off and shaped it into a fluted cuff. I added some embellishments from scrap copper and a black onyx cabochon set in a copper bezel. A lot of the plate was worn so I incorporated that into the design. 

Repurposed items aren't always a tragedy. But, if I hear 'chalk paint' and 'vintage' in the same sentence, thems fightin' words!

Share your repurposed items with me, I would love to see how creative you can be!

Cheers!

Well I Never! aka When Did People Become So Rude?

So it's snowing.....again. It's not like we haven't got enough already. I mean I only have 5 feet of it in my yard, I think we need about 5 more! I think it is making people cranky. Which brings me to the point of this entry. I have one question.....WHEN DID PEOPLE BECOME SO RUDE!?

I like to think of myself as a respectful, kind individual. Even when people are rude to me for no reason I tend to turn the other cheek. Most of the time. It's not worth getting all in a huffy because someone made a snide remark or gave you a dirty look. I like to live a peaceful life, it's just not worth the aggravation. But sometimes, just sometimes my buttons get pushed. I make the face and use the voice. If you don't know me, it's like a dog that's about to bite. And I know a lot about biting dogs, but that's another post altogether. My husband can see it a mile away and tends to walk, correction, run away from the havoc I'm about to wreak. Hang in there, there is a point to this story. In my adventures through the world of thrift shopping I have encountered many a rude person. Ladies who will grab a jewelry tray why you are looking through it. Reaching right into your face to grab something before you do. In my opinion, if they want it that bad they can have it. Only once have I used the look and voice that can melt your face like the lost ark. So let me tell you a story.....

Imagine if you will, a mild mannered woman browsing through a thrift store... (couldn't help the Twilight Zone intro) Anyway, I'm at my favorite Goodwill. Everyone has a favorite thrift store. I love this particular one. I know everyone by name and they all know me. I was even invited to one of the employees birthday parties.
There is one particular kid who I love talking to. I say kid because he is only 19. We will call him...ummm....Chuck Norris. (just to protect his privacy) We talk about music and art amongst other things. He's sharp and witty. I like that in a person. One evening Chuck Norris is checking me out at the register. I had quite a few treasures I had found so it was taking a bit of time. We were chatting as he was ringing me up. All of a sudden I hear a nasty voice behind me yell 'You need to hurry it up. This isn't a social visit. There are other people waiting!' I just looked at her and said 'he's still doing his job, it isn't a crime chatting with the customers.' Boy the glare I got! 'You don't need to stand there and give your life story!' I just smiled and Chuck Norris and I continued with our conversation, ignoring the daggers coming from her eyes. I finished paying and politely turned around and said 'I really hope you have a nice day'. That woman looked me dead in the eye and yelled 'BITE ME BITCH!' I had to laugh. I was in the Navy, I'm married to a sailor, I was a Derby Girl and owned a tattoo shop for 13 years. There was nothing anyone on this planet could say that would offend me. Hence the laughter. And the look on Chuck Norris's face was priceless! I took a few steps toward her and said in a very low and sinister voice 'You should be very careful about how you speak to people nowadays, you never know what that person is capable of.' Then I smiled, waved at the frozen, stunned Chuck Norris and made my merry way to my car (giggling as I went). I think that woman peed her pants a bit. I mean, I'm heavily tattooed so that instantly makes me a hooligan, riff raff, ex con or in a biker gang right? Of course I would never hurt someone, but sometimes people need a bit of a reality check. It actually was good advice if you think about it. Hopefully she will think twice before yelling profanity at strangers in public. It might actually get her hurt one day. So I guess what the point of all this is, don't be rude. Try to make the world a bit of a better place for everyone. Or I will get you.

Cheers!

The Darker Side Of Thrift Shopping

I LOVE  Goodwill! I find the most awesome things there! Everything from Waterford Crystal (which is a *heartbreaking* story. You can find it in a previous post HERE) But sometimes, you find things that are odd, creepy and downright horrific! I have compiled some examples of things I have actually seen that will make you say 'what in the *BLEEP* is that?!' 

Cat Butt

This is an actual salt shaker. The salt really does come out of his bum. I am actually bummed (get it? bummed?) I didn't buy this. It is quite the conversation starter. Who thought this was a good idea? Where are his back feet? What do you say at the dinner table? Please pass me the rump shaker? All I wanna do is zooma zoom zoom zoom....you get the idea.

Come Get Some Candy Children

This bunny will apparently melt your face with his laser eyes. He is just so menacing. His little hand looks like he's saying 'I will get you!' *fist shake* Complete with the arched evil eyebrows and giant claws. Let's not overlook the one creepy one eyed clown-worm candle holder photo bomb. I think this should be the Easter version of Elf On A Shelf. He is always watching......

I Brought You These Flowers Now Give Me Your Brain

I still haven't figured out why there are so many bunnies at Goodwill. I took these photos in December. There wasn't even Easter stuff out. Honestly, I don't even know what this is. Googly eye zombie bunny bringing you dead droopy flowers? And what the heck is he made of? And is he part octopus? Is he supposed to have 8 legs? Why is his whisker punching him in the eye? So many questions.

Killer Clown

There are SO many things wrong with is picture I don't know where to start. Creepy dolls. They were everywhere. Laid out on the counters, on shelves and thrown in baskets. These are the stuff of nightmares. I honestly think someone thought 'Hey, this isn't creepy enough, let's thrown a clown in there. Now that is much better!' *shudder*

What?

     Yup, that's a thing.

Do My Bidding

What. The. Eff. Excuse my language but really?! The only thing I can think of is Clown Slug. It will inch it's way toward you when you are sleeping leaving a trail of slime. It will then make it's way up your nose and implant itself into your brain using you as a host to do evil clown stuff. SOMEONE OWNED THIS! And even worse, someone designed this and made it a thing! One thing Goodwill is never short of is evil creepy clowns and bunnies. So, if you are even in the market for an evil clown or bunny you know just where to go.

These are just a few examples of what makes up Goodwill. I honestly think they should change their name to Evilwill. It would let people know what really goes on in there and scare them away. Then I can have all the good stuff to myself!

There are so many more! I would love it if you posted your own creepy finds in the comments! Let's see those terrifying clowns and bunnies!

Cheers!

It's A New Year And A New Years Resolution I Will Actually Keep

We have all done it. Made those New Year resolutions that we just can't seem to keep. I will quit smoking, I will lose weight, I will stop...whatever I should stop doing. Most of us just seem to fail. I am running out of time to keep making promises to myself I can't keep. I swear, the older you get the faster time moves. Maybe it's some sort of time-space anomaly. I think I will have to email Neil DeGrasse Tyson. He might know whats up.

Really though, it seems like just a couple years ago I was a teenager, sporting my Robert Smith hairdo and sitting in my friends basement being dark and mysterious why we listed to The Smiths. We were the original Emo kids. A couple more years and my son was 2 years old and watching Blues Clues until his eyeballs popped out. He is now almost 18, getting ready for college and has a full beard. Really, what is going on with kids and facial hair? I don't remember kids having beards when I was growing up. My older two were just starting to do the stupid teenage stuff I used to do. For crying out loud I have grandchildren!

Now I am considered 'middle aged'. I notice it creeping up on me. I'm sure a lot of you around my age know what I'm talking about. The little noises you make when you bend over to pick something up or get up from a chair. Having your joints ache when the weather changes. Gray hair, wrinkles and worst of all the dreaded waddle! Next thing you know I will be sitting in a rocking chair on my porch yelling at kids to get off my lawn. I have always had a young state of mind. I feel 18 but my body says otherwise. I am now called 'that woman' instead of that girl or that lady. You get the sympathy compliments from younger people like 'you can't be that old! You look so young!'. We all know they are big fat lairs!

It's a fact, you can't stop it. Oh, you can get plastic surgery and needles in your face. All that crazy stuff society says you should do because if you're not beautiful you might as well give up. Screw a bunch of that. I'm not nipping and tucking and doing all that stuff to try and make myself look younger just because everyone else says so. Plus, you might look like this:

Nobody wants that.

So my New Years resolution is to just go with it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not giving up, but I'm not spending valuable time and money trying to look younger when I can use that for much better things. Like fishing. I'm not going to dye my hair or freak out about wrinkles. I'm going to let my Old Flag fly! Bring it time! Give me your best shot! And please, don't tell me I look 25 when I'm in my 40's. Your pants will catch on fire.

Have a great New Year!

Cheers!

Christmas Cards That Will Make You Feel Better About Your Own Family

I'm sure everyone has been subject to one of those dreaded family photo Christmas cards. Mom breaks out the matching sweaters and makes the family pose in front of the tree. You all look like idiots but you know, it's the Holidays. I have even been guilty.

Circa 2005. Seriously, What the hell was I thinking?

Whether you send out those gems to your friends and family as a joke or as true Holiday greetings, these cards will make you feel just a bit better about your crazy family.

The dog is even in disbelief about whats going on here.

We said we wanted an Xbox One for Christmas

If you don't wear the diaper it won't look real!

I believe it was 'Savior' not 'Terrier'

If you have a horrible family Holiday card, please share! I don't want to be the only one!

Happy Holidays!

Small Business Commercials aka What Were They Thinking? (There Is A Moral To This Story)

OK, I know everyone has that one small town store that has the most ridiculous commercials you have ever seen. Growing up I had Cal Worthington of Worthington Chevrolet. My brother and sisters and I would stop what we were doing to trample each other in a race to the TV the second we heard 'It's Cal Worthington and his dog Spot!' Now Spot was never a dog and Cal was not right in the head. But, he did have the catchiest jingle known to man and did stuff that kids beat each other up to see. If you grew up in the Sacramento/Nappa Valley in California and someone said 'Pussy Cow' you would know exactly what they were talking about. And I know there are a few of you right now who are grinning and singing it in your head. The commercials always featured Cal with dangerous animals or doing stupid stunts but boy, that jingle! It still haunts me to this day. Just watch this and you will see what I mean.

After I grew up I moved to Seattle. Boy, did we have a doozy there! We had Vern Fonk. This dude did parodies of everything from Hair Club For Men to Forrest Gump. His commercials came on really late because I'm guessing it's the only time slot he could afford. My friends and I would actually stay up (no DVR back then) to see the new Vern Fonk commercial. We lived for that 30 seconds! His slogan was 'Remember To Honk When You Drive By Vern Fonk!' I always wondered if he regretted that. The world would be a sadder place if Vern Fonk Insurance didn't exist. So sit back and watch the awesomeness of Vern Fonk unfold in front of your very eyes!

I have since moved to Connecticut where I have lived for the last 14 years. This journey has taken me to the wonderful land of Bedding Barn. This man is..ummm...creative? His commercials just make you say 'what the f*** was that?' Really. I'm serious. This is a thing. Watch at your own risk...

Now to the moral....You should always support small businesses. From your local crazy retailer to the small online shops *ahem* they are what makes our country great. Because if we didn't we would only have crappy Allstate and Sleepy's commercials, and nobody wants that. The genius creativity of Vern Fonk and the Bedding Barn, not to mention the father of crazy commercials Cal Worthington, would have never been known. I salute all small businesses that have the intestinal fortitude to make complete fools of themselves to feed their families. That's what makes them better than all the Walmarts in the world. 

If you grew up with some awesome local commercials or even have them now please share!! I have to see them!!

Cheers!

Upcycle vs. What The Hell Is That

So in the vintage jewelry sellers community it is not uncommon to take pieces of vintage jewelry and upcycle them into a new unique pretty piece of art. Then, there are those people. The ones who take things, mash them together and try to pass them off as vintage. For example:

                                    

I have never seen a pair of vintage earrings signed MONET TROLLS. They must be rare and worth A TON! Granted, I did buy those earrings. They were so gawd awful wrong on so many levels I just had to have them!!! I still wonder what possessed this person to put trolls on a pair of earrings and actually think they could pass them off as authentic. I guess the first clue is she spelled miniature wrong. The scary part is I wasn't the only bidder! I will display these as a reminder of who the competition is. I am not intimidated.

Now there are those artisans who take vintage pieces and turn them into beautiful works of art. Meet Maria and Lisa from Salvati Designs. They turn vintage jewelry into amazing home decor. I'm kind of partial to the N. Now this is how you upcycle people!

The pieces they create are just gorgeous. You can go get your own at their eBay Store.

So what have we learned? Friends don't let friends make scary upcycled troll earrings and sell them on eBay.

Cheers!